Tune overly aggressive discovery rate limiting

The default 30s post-failure backoff (300s cap, doubling per
consecutive failure) was set to bound traffic from chatty apps
looking up unreachable targets, but in practice it dominates
cold-start mesh convergence: a single timed-out lookup during
initial bloom-filter propagation suppresses any retry for 30s, and
the existing reset triggers (parent change, new peer, first RTT,
reconnection) don't fire on a stable post-handshake topology. The
suppression window winds up dictating the protocol's effective
time-to-converge instead of bounding repeat traffic.

Replaces the single-lookup-with-internal-retry model
(`timeout_secs`/`retry_interval_secs`/`max_attempts`) with a
per-attempt timeout sequence in `node.discovery.attempt_timeouts_secs`,
defaulting to `[1, 2, 4, 8]`. Each attempt sends a fresh LookupRequest
with a new random request_id so successive attempts can take different
forwarding paths as the bloom and tree state evolve. The destination
is declared unreachable only after the sequence is exhausted (15s
total at the default).

Disables post-failure suppression by default (`backoff_base_secs`/
`backoff_max_secs` now `0`/`0`). The `DiscoveryBackoff` machinery
stays in tree (inert at zero base/cap); operators with chatty apps
generating repeat lookups against unreachable destinations can opt
back in.

`PendingLookup` field shape unchanged so the control-socket
`show_routing` JSON (`pending_lookups[].attempt`/`initiated_ms`/
`last_sent_ms`) keeps the same schema for fipstop and external
consumers; `last_sent_ms` now means "current-attempt start" under
the new state machine.

src/node/mod.rs

@@ -260,7 +260,7 @@ struct PendingConnect {
 ///
 /// The `addr_to_link` map enables dispatching incoming packets to the right
 /// connection before authentication completes.
-// Discovery lookup constants moved to config: node.discovery.timeout_secs, node.discovery.ttl
+// Discovery lookup constants moved to config: node.discovery.attempt_timeouts_secs, node.discovery.ttl
 pub struct Node {
     // === Identity ===
     /// This node's cryptographic identity.